Growing Up Isn’t What We Expected

The housing market finally feels calm, but our lives? Still beautifully complicated. We open with steady rates and a sigh of relief after the pandemic-era chaos—remember lines at open houses and offers far over asking? That “boring goodness” becomes a backdrop for a candid, funny, and sometimes tender conversation about what we thought adulthood would be and what it actually asks of us.

We talk honestly about relationships and the myth that marriage erases stress. Spoiler: it doesn’t. It reshapes it. Love becomes a practice—communication, repair, and effort when you’re tired. Money and freedom get a reality check too. The dream of doing whatever you want turns into budgeting for gas, groceries, sports fees, and surprise Tuesdays, with a side of “my metabolism said no to pizza forever.” It’s a grounded look at health, energy, and the habits that let us show up for the people we love.

Parenting reframes time. Small kids mean full days together; teenagers mean car rides, practices, and quick dinners before homework. We share how independence grows while conversation shrinks, and why presence beats perfection. Along the way, we revisit the big feelings of youth—breakups, failures, firsts—and how experience gives them scale. That perspective becomes advice for twenty-somethings: stop grading your life against curated feeds. The new car and perfect photo might hide debt, doubt, or divorce. Keep your eyes on your lane and build slow, honest wins.

We close with a challenge that doubles as a promise: keep growing. Date your spouse. Strengthen your finances. Protect your energy. Set small goals that pull you forward, because complacency is sneaky and progress is fuel. If you’ve been craving real talk with a few good laughs—plus a quick market check—you’ll find comfort and clarity here. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review with the one myth about adulthood you wish someone had warned you about.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:48

Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Venture with Joe and Cody. I'm Joe Skipper, the owner of Skipper Realty Group, brokered by EXP Realty, and that is Cody Wilhelm with Residential Mortgage. What's going on, man?

SPEAKER_03 1:00

Aloha. How you doing? Well, I'm good. I'm good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

Yeah. Nothing new to report necessarily on the real estate world for us. We're well besides being busy, but that's good. I'm not complaining about being busy. The market's picked up and for us, anyways, and rates are kind of continuing to kind of either stabilize or creep down. So yeah, it's kind of a boring goodness. I think. We've been waiting for boring for a long time. I know. I know. I remember week to week we were talking about you know different things of like, okay, what are the rates? And it's like boom, they bump, jumped up, and then boom, they went down and significantly, and it's like finally we're just like, okay, they're creeping around a little bit up and down, but nothing, you know, nothing crazy.

SPEAKER_03 1:41

Nothing that's major.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:42

Nothing that's like great, here's another bad trend, or it's craziness. It's like, all right, seems like a pretty normal environment to be in.

Remembering Pandemic-Era Frenzy

SPEAKER_01 1:48

So yeah. And I kind of forget, like, uh, we've I don't know what show we've mentioned it on, but man, just kind of when you sit back and think about what we were going through during the COVID years of like the just the craziness. The craziness of the market and uh seeing homes. Well, I was walking with Christina, I think by an open house or something, and I remember I was like, remember when we were in line to see a home? Like there were there were lines of agents at certain points during COVID. So you'd see a house come on the market, you'd book it for that afternoon, and there would be like seven or eight agents with their clients in line waiting for the next agent to get through.

SPEAKER_03 2:28

Like that's wild.

SPEAKER_01 2:29

That is absolutely oh yeah, absolutely, six feet apart. But making like fifty, seventy, a hundred thousand dollars over asking price for these houses. Right. Just it's absolutely insane.

SPEAKER_03 2:40

Like it's you know, the thing that's the thing that's crazy to me is when you like when you're in the middle of it, it's such a gradual thing that you get to a point and then it's normal and then you're kind of like you're like, okay, there's there's like five agents here, we gotta wait it out.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

Let's sit in the car. Yeah, exactly. But now you're like, you know, people are super happy they get like two or three showings in a week. It's like, yeah, that's awesome, like good traction, you know. Yeah, it just it's insane inside.

SPEAKER_03 3:03

I know, and then it's a good thing.

SPEAKER_01 3:04

It took a while for people to be like after COVID and when rates went high, they were like, why isn't my house selling in a week? My buddy just sold just down the road, like six months ago, and he got like 18 offers. It's like, dude. So that explanation to people was like, it is not the same world, and it is changing by the week.

SPEAKER_03 3:21

Six months ago was a completely different environment. For sure, for sure.

Expectations Of Adulthood Vs Reality

SPEAKER_01 3:24

Yeah, crazy. But, anyways, now is uh now is a good, I think, not boring, but good time. Like I think it's just a good solid time. But yeah. Anyways, I want to talk about something a little off tocket pro topic from the real estate world, but maybe maybe we'll jab or dive into a little bit of our our world in it, is what we thought adulthood would look like versus what it actually is. Wow. Um, and it's and it's one of those ones you dive deeper into your head and you're like, Yeah, I remember thinking the various things and being like, Oh, when I'm an adult, when I'm right, when I'm an adult, this is gonna be so much better.

SPEAKER_02 4:00

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 4:01

Things are gonna be so different. I'm like, never grow up. Like the responsibility you have is zero. Like it is absolutely zero. Like it will never get better than this. Like, nope. So don't think that when you're an adult, you're gonna be, you know, that what it is. But yeah, but when you were in your 20s, like, say for example, like when you're in your 20s, what did you think your guy is gonna look what would would have looked like by now? So go back to your your 20-year-old Cody, like uh you're like, what am what's it looking like? What's adulthood looking like for you?

SPEAKER_03 4:33

So that is such an interesting thing because I think in my head, adulthood, I mean, I still don't, I'm not sure that I feel like an adult, but adulthood to me looked like you have a really good job and you've got a house and you've got a family, and everything is just you've kind of figured it out, right? Like, like your younger years are so much of the figuring it out, and you're kind of like, oh, once I get to this stage or this age, everything's just gonna be kind of on cruise control, and I won't really have to worry about a whole lot.

SPEAKER_01 5:06

For sure.

SPEAKER_03 5:07

And I've realized that that is it is the complete opposite of that. The easiest days were you're single, you just need enough money to pay for your rent and your food. Go grab drinks and put some gas in your car, yeah, and then do whatever is like that. I know didn't feel like this is this is pretty awesome at the time because you're just kind of and I think that's one thing that's that's good, that's like always pushing you is that there is that next thing that once you reach that next goal, that's gonna get you there. And then you get there and then you're like, nope, not yet. Yeah, move to the next one. Nope, not yet.

SPEAKER_01 5:40

So I think there's some benefit to that for sure. But yeah, same sort of thing. It's like you can't, you you just thought, man, when I get to this age, it's gonna be so much easier. Like, there's just gonna be less stress. I'm gonna have like a job and a wife and a kid, and it's just gonna be easy and have a house. Like, you just like think that you're gonna hit this point and be like, Man, I I made it, I'm done. And yeah, yeah, it's not true, it's not, it's not true at all.

SPEAKER_03 6:07

No, it doesn't, and you know, I had um Eli was saying something the other day. Eli, for anybody that doesn't know, he's our oldest, he'll be 15 in a couple weeks, and he was saying how he's like, Man, I can't wait until I move out and like I can do whatever I want. And I was like, You're right, bud. You can you will be able to do whatever you want. Can you afford to do whatever you want, though? Probably not. But it's you know, it's like takes you back to that time in in your life where you're like, things I can do. I don't have to do the dishes if I don't want to. I can eat whatever I want to. I don't have to put my stuff away.

SPEAKER_01 6:41

For sure.

SPEAKER_03 6:42

You know, all these things, life is gonna be so easy.

SPEAKER_01 6:45

Yeah. Well, it's funny you say that because I was gonna ask you uh, what was the it's the perfect like transition is what was the biggest lie you believed about being an adult? Like stress, lack of stress, confidence, money, you know. Yeah, I I think you touched on those topics is like that thought. I think there's incremental things, but like 18, okay. Things are 16. I'm gonna be able to drive, dude. I'm gonna drive everywhere. No one's gonna, no one's gonna like I I didn't know where the car was coming from, but it was gonna be I was gonna be driving and I was gonna be doing that, then 18, then 21, then and you're like, dude, life is gonna just be amazing.

SPEAKER_03 7:20

Like, yes. I know, but it was I think what what was deceiving maybe was just that you looked at anybody, I mean anybody whose life wasn't like falling apart, and it felt like they had it figured out. They were, you know, they made good money, their family seemed good, they had a place to live, they were healthy, like it just appeared as though they they made it, you know, and there's different levels of that, you know, not saying that you know, you had to be rich to look like you were successful and made it, but it was just kind of like well, you must just get to a point in life where you've got it all.

SPEAKER_01 7:59

For sure.

SPEAKER_03 7:59

And it's just kind of you just do what you do, and that's yeah, you know, you're good to go for the next forever.

SPEAKER_01 8:05

For sure.

SPEAKER_03 8:06

And then I think it's just that realization of of getting there, you still have regardless of if if you have a little bit or a lot, you still have so many different stresses in life of of decisions and you know, raising people, being married, for sure, everything that goes into to life, you know, it's like wow, this doesn't regardless of what success you have at work, life is still just a hard thing to get through, and and there's not a lot of easy days where you're just kind of like carefree and nothing really matters.

Money, Freedom, And Dollar Store Days

SPEAKER_01 8:37

So nothing really mattered, yeah. I I think I didn't see my parents fight a lot, and I think that relationships for me was a very deceiving thing. Like I didn't see them fight a lot, but I know they've had stress, they had conflict because we're both married and there's conflict, and yeah, right. And so you now see it, but as a kid, it was like when you had your girlfriend break up with you, or you had jealousy stuff with a girlfriend, or you had this and that, or you're like, Man, when I'm married, it's just gonna be better. You know, like it's just gonna be there, won't be any of that stress. And it's like like it's yeah, that I think for me was a wide, uh rude awakening because you just kind of I remember specifically being, especially in relationship stuff, of like, man, I just won't have stress when I have a wife. Like she'll be there, it'll be no, like it'll it will just be like best buds, and you know, like hanging out and like when I find the right one, yeah. And so that that was and not to say I'm not happy, I'm just you know, it yeah, it comes with a lot of stress and a lot of work and a lot of arguments and disagreements and you know, things like that. But yeah, as a young kid, I was like, that's one area I was like, this is gonna be better once once we get hitched. Like once once I get married, it's it's good.

SPEAKER_03 9:47

So yeah, well, that's a good point because I I'd never really thought about that as much, but my parents were the same way. Like, I don't know that I ever saw them fight. And if it if it was, it was like a conversation of some light disagreement. But then you get yourself in that situation being married, and you realize like they're still going through all the same things. It was just private conversations, and you know, they're just not doing it in front of the kids because we don't need to do this right now. We can wait and talk about it later or whatever. But yeah, it is interesting that you just whatever you see, it's kind of like what we were talking about on last week's episode of of social media and how it can be so deceiving. Like the perception that people have of other people is unless it's really bad looking, then it's just that everything's figured out, and you're like, Yeah, why does my yeah, yeah. Why do I why is it that they always every time we're around them, they always seem so happy and they're doing this, and here we are like yeah, we're like kids are out of control and we're frustrated with each other or whatever it is, and it's but then to find out that they those people that you're talking about and envious of, they're going through the same stuff.

SPEAKER_01 10:55

They just have like they're divorced. We're like going through exactly okay, okay, cool. Yeah. Yeah, with it was funny with food on a lighter note, it's uh you know, the same thing as like thinking I'm gonna be able to buy whatever I want, like it's gonna be Mountain Dew and Doritos, like and pizza the rest of my life. And um, I see Rory as like a teenager just eating whatever he wants, like you know, and I it made me think about the the other day. I was like, Rory, I'm so jealous that you get to eat whatever you want. Like I can, like I can financially go grab whatever I want, but my body will not allow it. My body will like I will get fat. There is no there's no other way about it of like I will get fat if I eat what you eat. And I remember being a kid being like, man, it wouldn't be so cool to just have like 50 bucks, like whenever you want it, and go and go just like buy just chips and soda and do whatever and eat it. And it's like when you get to the age where you can do it, your body's like, No, you can't. Yeah, like you physically, you financially can, but physically, it's not gonna happen.

SPEAKER_03 12:01

Yeah, and then you do it and you're like, I feel awful, and then I gain five pounds.

SPEAKER_01 12:06

I know, and you gain the weight, and it just takes like twice as long to get it off, you know.

The Invisible Load Of Parenting

SPEAKER_03 12:11

So yeah, uh I do remember, I do remember that feeling though, like as a if you could call, you know, young adult, late teens, early twenties, you're out on your own, and everything does seem like it's gonna be easier and better because you just get to make your own choices, but then you do run into that money issue where you're like, Oh, okay, I can buy whatever I want as long as I go to the dollar store.

SPEAKER_01 12:34

Yeah, yeah, for sure. That's calling for sure.

SPEAKER_03 12:37

Dude, when we when I lived down in California, there was, I don't know, I haven't been to a dollar store in a long time, but the dollar store that was down there, they had a pretty decent like grocery section. And so I could get a decent amount of food for 15, 20 bucks.

SPEAKER_01 12:52

Um, but even then, you know, cutlery and things like that. Oh, yeah. You could like get plates, you could get you could get everything. You could do everything, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I I still am like, why don't I do that? Like, I know, right? Even if they're not like even if they last like six months a year, it's like they cost a dollar. Like, yes. Like I can do this a couple times a year.

SPEAKER_03 13:12

Uh-huh. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:14

Yeah. That was funny. It was, yeah. Well, what's the way like go ahead, go ahead.

SPEAKER_03 13:19

I was just gonna say, even with that, it's like that stuff adds up, and when you don't have a whole lot of money, that freedom that you felt like you had for being, okay, I I can do some of the things that I want to do, but I definitely can't afford to do all of the things because I can, you know, I gotta prioritize my money now and where I'm driving because I barely have enough money to put. I remember for a long time, I don't know if you ever ran into this. Are you the type of person that so take yourself back to when you you had very little money, you know, just young kid? Were you the type of person that would fill up your gas tank? Or or did you just go, I'm gonna put in like 10 bucks or 15 bucks, and then that's gonna get me, you know, to the next four or five days or whatever it is, and then I'll I'll reassess from there.

SPEAKER_01 14:06

There was no there's no way to fill it up for the money. It was like I was like, I don't have like whatever the amount is to just say fill it. It was like I got 10 bucks, so let's see what that gets me and see how far that gets me. It was never I didn't have the luxury of just being like fill it. Like me neither.

SPEAKER_03 14:22

I I always was so jealous of people that had like full gas tank too. Oh yeah. Because I'd be like, I'd put five bucks in or ten bucks, and then it's like two or three days later, I'm like, crap, I gotta get gas again. Like, I feel like I just did this and you forgot what you're doing.

SPEAKER_01 14:38

Man, I just put in my gas, I but I just filled my take up. It's like, no, you didn't. You put you put a gallon and a half in.

SPEAKER_03 14:43

You put in a couple gallons and that's about it.

SPEAKER_01 14:45

Yeah, I know. That's so funny. Yeah. Well, what's like the what's some of the mental weight of adulthood that that nobody warned us about that you can think of? That's like a little deeper.

SPEAKER_03 14:56

That is. Gosh, I guess you could go.

SPEAKER_01 14:59

Like the decision making, planning, responsibilities, that sort of stuff.

SPEAKER_03 15:04

Yeah. I think I think just your day-to-day, like overall, especially when you throw kids into the mix too, because there's so much extra planning that goes on into whether it's food, obviously, finances are are important, but it's school and schoolwork and doctor's appointments and sports and signing up for this and that. It's like there's you you kind of take for granted those quieter times. Like we go through it, it seems about like quarterly, because our kids are seem to be in like alternating seasons of of sports. So it's like every other season we get some time off, and it's just like, you know, it's so nice just to kind of sit back and relax because it's just one less thing that you're needing to get them to practice and get gear and do all these things, and that's just like a small little piece of it.

SPEAKER_01 15:52

But yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:53

I think just the it just doesn't none of it ever ends.

Time, Teenagers, And Letting Go

SPEAKER_01 15:57

No. And I think that's the the that's exactly what it is. And not in a negative way. It's just like you, I think the naive thought when you're younger is I'll work in eight to five, and then at from five on, I'll have all the free time in the world. And then on Saturday, Sunday, I will do whatever I want because I don't have to care about anything. Uh-huh. I'm gonna have my perfect wife who wants to do everything I want to do. And like, like and it's like you get into this routine of life, like we are, you know, we talk about it regularly off to offline, it's like our life is revolves around the kids, which is great. Like, I love love doing it, but it is funny how um the responsibilities of of adulthood are big, and I don't think we notice it as kids. Of like, and I have a new appreciation for my parents who like went to every one of my games and practices and whatever because it's like that's an uh we didn't think about it. That's an hour and a half of just sitting there, you know, like they did that rather than go do whatever they wanted to do, and then it was like a pickup drop off, like uh, you know, Monday, Wednesday, Friday, whatever the case might be. So, yeah, it's a lot more responsibility and planning and decision making that comes up that I ever thought would be totally in our life. And now that I look back, I'm like, how were I so dumb I didn't know that? You know? Oh, I know. Like, yeah, I just like I was like, what how stupid was I that I was like, eh, it's gonna be totally fine. Like, I'm just gonna get a nice job, eat Doritos, like eat, you know, like drink soda, have a perfect wife who never fights with me, and you know, that's it. I'll have all the time in the world.

SPEAKER_03 17:30

I know.

SPEAKER_01 17:30

It's not now, but it's truly what our it's truly what a younger generation thinks. It's just what that's not bad, it's just what they think.

SPEAKER_03 17:37

Like it's kind of like what you're hoping it's gonna be, and you're just assuming that why wouldn't this be this way? Like we're meeting the perfect person for me. So they should we should be on the same page to let me do whatever I want, right?

SPEAKER_01 17:49

I know, I know.

SPEAKER_03 17:50

But I think that it's I'm starting to feel in my own life this weird kind of shift to like because you're I'm always trying to find time to do little things that I want to do, right? And sometimes it's something stupid. Like right now, I'm working on fixing my air compressor and just kind of like troubleshooting parts of it. And it's like seems like such a dumb little thing to do, but then even just making time to be able to go do that for a little bit here and there. There's times where I'm like, Yeah, I just like I just I'd love an hour just to go do that, right? And it's not that I can't, it's just every time I want to, there's there's other things that are more important.

SPEAKER_01 18:27

Something else, yeah, for sure. For sure.

SPEAKER_03 18:30

More important to me, too, to doing. But then I can also start to feel this like internal shift in my brain of like, I'm starting to see our oldest, you know, he's only a freshman now, but at the same time, like that path is moving faster and faster with the kids.

SPEAKER_01 18:45

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 18:46

And and it starts to scare me a little bit in the sense that I know that that I'm gonna be, you know, I'm sitting here going, man, I wish I just had a little bit more time to do this and this. And then before I know it, I'm gonna have all this time and be like, Man, this stupid I know who cares about this stupid compressor? Like, I wish my kids were here for sure to just be all over me and preventing me from doing the things that I wanted to do. So it's this weird like balance of knowing it in the moment, too, like trying to appreciate it and and love it, and at the same time trying to accomplish the things that you want to accomplish.

SPEAKER_01 19:19

And it's a weird, weird balance there, and it's hard to ever find it. But yeah, as kids get older, man, I if I was gonna give any advice to a 20-year-old or someone that's kind of listening to this and being like, You guys are nuts, is like I've realized not that I regret anything, but I've realized like they grow it. Sounds so dumb, I hate even saying it. I know they grow up so fast, they grow up so fast, and I hate saying it because it's so cliche and dumb, and every parent says it, and every time you're young, you're like, Okay, okay. Right. Yeah, I've heard it a million times. Especially when you're in the moment of little kids where you're like, this is never going to end. But man, my kid's 13. He's like, he's in he's in seventh grade going into eight, he's almost in high school, and I'm like, uh-huh, dude, it is so fast, so so fast, like that they grow up. And and I think there's a big development level because kids as young is like they're always with you, they're always around you, they're always doing things. And I think when they get to an older level, they're going to practice, going to school, going to practice, coming home, eating dinner, going to bed. And so it's not as interactive. And so you I think you start to notice how quickly they get grow up because you're like seeing them, you're not seeing them as much grow up. Like you're kind of seeing them in more spurts than your kid that's five, that's always around you, and always, you know, yeah. You're living that that life constantly. But man, it does go by fast. Any 20-year-old, like, I know it sounds dumb. I hate even saying it. And yeah, but it is take advantage of it with your kids and not say to not give yourself time to go do whatever you want, but really be aware that you know soon enough Rory will be out of school or out of college or in college or wherever he wants to do, and he's not in our life anymore, like he's not living with us anymore. Like, I know it's like really shocking to the system to be like it is what happens.

SPEAKER_03 21:05

And those five, yeah, those five years to your life are like, all right, well, cool. Yeah, I gained five more years of my life. Not a big impactful thing. My life is probably not going to change drastically in five years. His and everybody else's lives are gonna change so much, and that's that's fan. And it just I think that's what makes it feel like it goes so fast, too, is like yeah, watching the kids go through those stages, but it also feels to me like there's a point in your life where a year or two or five years is like, all right, well, what changed in my life? Well, I guess I got a different job, and you know, maybe we move, but it's overall, like life is still the same feeling that it was five years ago. Like, but for them, it's like, geez, five years at any kid's age is such a huge like change in person and and what they're into. And like you said, with um, you know, going to school and then coming home and then eating, and it's like we've experienced that more and more to where it's like he's at a friend's house or he's got friends over, or you know, it's just practice and this and that.

SPEAKER_01 22:08

Less interaction with parents than with than when they're when they're younger. There's less and less interaction on a regular basis. Like even when they're home, like you said, they're they're you know doing video games or they're talking to their friend, or they have a friend over, or they went to a friend. It's not just like, okay, well, at least I have them once they're back at school from school. It's like right, they now have their other life and they're starting, and that's totally natural.

SPEAKER_03 22:29

But yeah, it's totally because I remember that.

Is Adulthood Harder Or Are We Wiser

SPEAKER_01 22:32

It's very difficult to to kind of you know balance that and then not being addicted to your kid either is the same is not like so obsessed with them. So Right. Um Well, one final question I have is do you think adulthood is harder now, or do you think we're just more aware of it? Now. Like now that you think back on things.

SPEAKER_03 22:52

I would say, I would say I feel like in this moment, if I can call myself an adult, I think I think that I've kind of adapted to it, to where, you know, less and less feels like a big surprise. Maybe it's just because you get surprised all the time. And it's like, yeah, at this point in life, it kind of feels like, all right, we've been thrown our punches, we've we've experienced a lot of different things across the board. And so now it's kind of like learning to, or maybe learned a little bit more of just kind of going with the flow and knowing that things are going to change and happen and be sad and stressful and all that. And it's like, all right, well, but tomorrow might be a completely different story.

SPEAKER_00 23:30

Tomorrow might be better.

SPEAKER_03 23:31

Like this, whatever situation that we're in that's stressing us out or troubling us is going to go away and it's not the end of the world. And I think for sure. Sometimes it just takes time to get to that point of seeing seeing seeing things through and realizing that all right, that's that did suck. That stung. That hurt.

SPEAKER_01 23:50

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:51

But it's life.

SPEAKER_01 23:52

I learned from it. Like I think, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:55

And I feel like that's you can go through that and it gives you a different perspective on life. So I don't think it's necessarily harder. I think we've had more experience. So these events that happen in our adulthood are not as I don't want to say impactful, but I remember, and this is one thing I'm trying to like teach, not teach Rory, but kind of give him that insight of like, you're gonna feel as a young kid that every decision you make or don't make, or any drama that you have or breakup or is the end of your world. Like that's just like because you don't have anything to go off of. It's like your first breakup, your first this, your first that is going to feel like it is the worst thing that's ever happened to you because it probably is. So I think adulthood kind of gives you a better perspective. So I don't think I I personally don't think adulthood is harder because you have a better experience to know that there's something on the other side, or there's you know, you'll get through this, or you'll um we've experienced this before, or you know, that sort of stuff. But yeah, I think like for me, it's kind of touching me now because it's what I'm trying to teach my teenage kid is like you're gonna experience some things that you think are the worst things that have ever happened to you in your life. And they may be the worst things that have happened to you in your life, but it is not something to react as if, you know, like kind of like giving them this, I guess, experience to say, you know, as an adult, you'll look back and say, Yeah, there were that wasn't the end of the world. I remember breakups that I was like crying to my mom, like as like this is my wife, that was the girl I was gonna be with the rest of my life. Yes. Like my mom just saying, like, it will get she's like, each day, even if it gets better for one minute longer that day, it would be better. Like, and I was like, So true. So I did I still think of that stuff. I still think, okay, what even if it's better for one minute today, long longer, right? Then it was the and now I think back, it was just so comical that that was like my that was that was it. My mom had console me for a girlfriend I thought was going to be mine, you know, for the rest of my life.

SPEAKER_03 25:49

That was my wife, and it's like so silly to think of, but right in that world, in the young world, but it is at that time, it's like I feel like that's what you go into most relationships feeling like is like, well, this might be the one. Even when you're in sixth grade, you're like, I'm gonna be one of those stories that you know dated my sixth grade sweetheart, and we're married, and we've got five kids, and you know, like that doesn't always happen.

SPEAKER_00 26:13

Yeah, yep.

SPEAKER_03 26:14

I you know, we'll have this conversation with my wife about certain things that that the kids do, whether it's little or or big, and it's like you look at stuff now from a from a different perspective. Obviously, I try to put myself in the kids' shoes to like yeah, yeah, otherwise I'm gonna downplay it all the time of like it's not a big deal, you're gonna be fine. Like crushing your world right now, right? But yeah, you look back, I look back at so many things in my life that I remember were what felt like big things, and you know, my heart was broken or I would felt defeated or whatever it is. And it's like so many times, and probably every single time, there was so much good that ended up coming out of it. But it's hard to see that when you're in the middle of it, like the lessons that you learn.

SPEAKER_01 26:58

And no, you can't. I think that's like hard to do as a parent is tell your kid it's fine. Like you don't want to downplay it, you don't want to tell them it will be fine because they're just not in a mode to receive that. Like they're not in it's not what they want to hear. So, really, it's yeah, that's not what they want to hear, and it's not maybe even something they need to hear, like because they're in that like height of of their emotion, and so yeah, that's difficult to kind of say, Look, I'm gonna look back a year from now and just uh think that was stupid, like you know, yeah. I've gotta let you, I've gotta let you act like this is the end of the world.

SPEAKER_03 27:31

So like I don't care about a year from now, I care about today.

Advice To Twenty-Somethings

SPEAKER_01 27:34

Yeah, for sure. Well, if someone was in their early twenties watching our show, what's the one thing you'd tell them about in adulthood that no one else will? Oh boy.

SPEAKER_03 27:46

Wow, if you've got one lined up, go for it.

SPEAKER_01 27:49

I think like I I think the biggest thing I would say, I think one thing that I took from adulthood is that or learning from adulthood is there is no picture perfect world. I think when you try to fit into a category, especially with our social media, as a young kid, you were always comparing to someone else, and that was the standard, the white picket fence. The two kids, one's a boy, one's a girl, one's a, you know, everything had to line up, and if it wasn't lined up, that's not good. Like, and learning as an adult of how many things behind the scenes fail for people, whether that's job, financing, relationships, but there's a perception that they were perfect. I've seen so many of that perceived perfection online with people that then they're like, Oh yeah, we're we're divorced or we're going through this or we're gonna have to, you know, move because we can't do this. And no judgment to them at all. But I think as a what I would tell a 20-year-old is do not look at the surface on people and say that's that's what it is. Like, be confident in what you're doing and don't even think about what other people are doing because more likely than not, you're on the same path behind the scenes, like with the people that you think might have it already. Like they probably don't have it. I don't think any of us have it already. There is no. I don't personally think any of us have it perfect. And so, but I think as a 20-year-old, you do think you do look to people that are older that might show, oh, we just bought this brand new car, or look at the new house we just moved into. We're so happy and look at the you know, whatever, and look at my kid doing amazing at this sport, or you know, all the stuff that comes with kind of growing up. It's easy to look at others and say they've got it perfect. Why can't I get it perfect? And I think learning looking back now as a 20-year-old, I did look at people like that and felt inferior as I grew up, not meeting a standard that I thought was supposed to be there. And sure, yeah, my advice would be to not even pay attention to the noise. Like, do live your life. You will have fights, you will have whatever, you will have financial issues, you will have downtimes. There's no one that's not gone through that, and to just keep moving forward.

SPEAKER_03 29:46

So yeah, and don't let people judge you for it. So yeah, kind of keep your keep your blinders on.

SPEAKER_01 29:52

Yeah.

unknown 29:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:54

That goes for us now in our line of work. Like we've talked about it multiple times. It's just don't don't look at the noise. Everyone acts like they're the best and the most successful in the world, and not all of us can be, and not all of us are, and most likely they're not. So yeah. So just to kind of keep keep on track with what you've got going on.

SPEAKER_03 30:10

So yeah, I would say like keep challenging yourself because it's it's never gonna feel I think in a healthy way, like whether that's in your relationship, your work, your personal goals, your fitness, your spirituality, whatever it is, like you know, in the in the sales side, there's like uh, you know, if you're not what is it, if you're not growing, you're dying. And I feel like that can you can get complacent when you do start to accumulate the things that you that you were trying to achieve. You got married, okay, cool. Now I don't need to put any effort into that relationship because like that one I think is probably where a lot of relationships end up failing. And I'm not gonna pretend like I'm not guilty of that because I am, yeah where like I could, I could and should put in a lot more effort, like date my wife, right? Like you I've heard that said a lot. But just pushing yourself because I think that it's it gets very easy to convince yourself as you start to get a little bit older that you know I don't have the time for this, I don't have the energy for this, I don't have yeah, yeah, like I've I'm good enough in that department of life to just keep pushing yourself, keep challenging yourself, because I do think there gets to a point where you start to lose some of that joy in life when you're just you're just like going through the motions and I don't have energy or touch like I don't know. There's there's ways of creating happiness in your life because you're not gonna you might be super happy as a 20-year-old now, but as you as you start going through life, it it does kind of you know, you get tired, you get beat up, um, and you have to push yourself.

Keep Growing Or Start Fading

SPEAKER_01 31:53

So for sure. Do it. No, it's good. Do it now. Good advice, my man. Well, that was good. Hopefully, people got some info out of it and got to know us a little bit better and got some words of wisdom a little bit. Yeah, from a couple old farks. Well, I know, I know. It's crazy. I think I'm 43. I think. Yeah, that's old. I think you start to lose track.

SPEAKER_03 32:14

I'm forty, and I only know that because that was a that was a mystery.

SPEAKER_01 32:18

Tell me what I am. I think I'm 43. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 32:21

Anyways, um, I had one of the kids at church the other day tell me they thought I was like 53. I was like, Yeah, give me a break. What do you mean?

Closing Laughs And Sign-Off

SPEAKER_01 32:28

Get out of here. I don't even have any grade in here yet. You give them a Worther's original, like a little get off my lawn. Okay, ma'am. We'll talk to you next week.

SPEAKER_03 32:41

All right, you as well. Take care.

SPEAKER_01 32:43

Okay. See ya. Bye.